porque-a-vida-nao-e-um-morango:

HAHA THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER WATCHED.
Literally me if I ever try to be a parent
omfg it just keeps getting funnier
My life

porque-a-vida-nao-e-um-morango:

HAHA THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER WATCHED.

Literally me if I ever try to be a parent

omfg it just keeps getting funnier

My life

aliveontuesday:

the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:
While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.
Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.
My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.
Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.
So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”
Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.
It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.
So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.
And he bursts out laughing.
Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.
I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

Your manager is a piece of shit.

aliveontuesday:

the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:

While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.

Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.

My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.

Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.

So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”

Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.

It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.

So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.

And he bursts out laughing.

Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.

I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

Your manager is a piece of shit.

pixiedust-paycheck:

hiril-anwyn:

My kinda princess gear

Somewhere, Merida is rejoicing.

pixiedust-paycheck:

hiril-anwyn:

My kinda princess gear

Somewhere, Merida is rejoicing.

prokopetz:

sixsaltysweets:

thetremblingofmyhand:

escapedosmil:

noelledino:

deductionhunters:

chocolateist:

i-want-cheese:

bakaandty:

i-want-cheese:

blogorgtfo:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

Back when I was younger and more ignorant and misinformed than I am now, one of my exes literally made me feel guilty sometimes when he got a boner and I didn’t want to “take care of him”. He claimed that it caused him a lot of pain and he said that his doctor had actually said he couldn’t leave himself in that state or else he could damage himself…. So made me feel like I HAD to give him relief even when I really did not desire to. And that sucked.

Wait… it DOESN’T hurt them?

Boys get boners all the time for no reason. No, it doesn’t hurt them. If any boy tries to tell you otherwise, run away as fast as you can because he’s lying to you for the sake of his penis.

No penis is more important than you because you are a whole person and a penis is just a spongy flab o’ flesh. 

Hahaha deff not I get boners constantly.
Math
Driving
Light
Anything causes them

Favorite answer so far.

Math.

Dicks can seriously be ridiculous at times

Hell sometimes a brisk breeze can set them off

Reblogging this for all of the girls and guys that DO NOT KNOW THIS INFORMATION.  Because this is extremely important.

HEY!!! 

HEYYYYYY!!!!

The term ‘blue balls’ isn’t actually a fucking thing. 

It was created by giant flopping douche canoes to con girls into rubbing their little dingadongs. 

I literally get 10 boners a day and never get blue balls. 

Next time someone tries to shame you into a handy, kick them in the balls and tell them “NOW YOU HAVE BLUE BALLS”

Sorry but, coming from a woman, “blue balls”  (ie pain caused by temporary fluid congestion) can be a thing, it’s just that not all men experience it, it will not cause any damage if not “treated”, and no woman should be obliged to “relieve” a guy with this problem. 

this is glorious and hilarious and informative thank you

Also, consider the following:

  1. "Blue balls" is caused by referred pain from vascular congestion of erectile tissue.
  2. Vascular congestion of erectile tissue is, in turn, caused by prolonged arousal that does not result in orgasm.
  3. This is not a gendered phenomenon; just about every configuration of genitals has erectile tissue that can become painfully congested in this fashion.
  4. In general, clitoral erectile tissue is both more nerve-rich and more internalised than penile erectile tissue (90% of the clitoral shaft lying within the body).
  5. Women are much more likely not to get off from sex than men are.

The upshot is that, if you’re a heterosexual dude, in all balance of probability you’ve “blue balled” your partner both more frequently and more severely than she’s ever done to you - and you don’t hear her complaining, do you?

anotherwellkeptsecret:

Lazy doodles.

anotherwellkeptsecret:

Lazy doodles.

Nui Harime's theme slowed and pitched down


261,605 plays

heichou-relatable:

This song probably plays on repeat in hell 

-wondersmith:

September 18, 2008 - September 18, 2014

If two points are destined to touch, the universe will always find a way to make the connection - even when all hope seems to be lost. Certain ties cannot be broken. They define who we are - and who we can become. Across space, across time, among paths we cannot predict - nature always finds a way. —  Jake BohmTouch

stephenhawqueen:

the US is unreal like girls cant wear shorts to school, you can literally lose your job for being gay, and unarmed black children are brutally murdered on the regular but old white ppl r still like “what a beautiful country. i can freely carry a gun for no reason and some of our mountains look like presidents. god bless”

noibatitty:

freeiwatobiswimm:

Rin speaking English!!! Haruka trying to understand! Omg XD now we all knows someday, Rin can speak to us! O//.///o

THIS IS SO FUCKINGG SURREAL LISTENING TO AUSTRALIAN ACCENTS IN ANIME WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT IM HAVIG AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE HERE THIS TOOK ME SO OFF GUARD. I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO GET ACTUAL AUSTRALIANS TO VOICE ACT THOSE PEOPLE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED. THIS IS SO WEIRD.

pocketmoony:

This made me laugh so hard!